Thursday, January 23, 2003
Why does it make me cry? I thought about it for a while and then it hit me...its a phrase used for separation...thats why...cause i can't bear being separated.
"khush raho...i just want you to be happy always...Allah hamesha tumhain khush rakhaye"
These have to be the sweetest words that can ever be spoken. They are prayers for ones happiness...mager inmain itna pyaar aur dukh isliye hai kyoun keh jub bhi main sochti houn inke baraye main I visualize a picture. A picture of a father bidding farewell to his daughter as she heads off to her husbands home....and thats enough for me to start weeping for no reason at all. The context does not matter...be it somenoe my age or somenoe older to say it to me...I just feel as if thats what they're doing...saying farewell.
"khush raho...i just want you to be happy always...Allah hamesha tumhain khush rakhaye"
These have to be the sweetest words that can ever be spoken. They are prayers for ones happiness...mager inmain itna pyaar aur dukh isliye hai kyoun keh jub bhi main sochti houn inke baraye main I visualize a picture. A picture of a father bidding farewell to his daughter as she heads off to her husbands home....and thats enough for me to start weeping for no reason at all. The context does not matter...be it somenoe my age or somenoe older to say it to me...I just feel as if thats what they're doing...saying farewell.
Sunday, January 19, 2003
Here is something really sweet which encompasses all I have ever had to say to people...people who don't understand what i try to say :) hopefully these words will be better understood then mine ever have.
Never say I love you
if you don't really care
Never talk about feelings
if they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
if you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to
if you don't plan to start
Never look into my eyes
if all you do is lie
Never say hello
if you really mean good bye
If you really mean forever
then say you will try
Never say forever
cause forever make me cry
The beauty behind it is that it defines not love but friendship .... true friendship which i believe to have a status much higher and a feeling much deeper then love ever can. That is what I think and believe and only experience shall change that.
Never say I love you
if you don't really care
Never talk about feelings
if they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
if you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to
if you don't plan to start
Never look into my eyes
if all you do is lie
Never say hello
if you really mean good bye
If you really mean forever
then say you will try
Never say forever
cause forever make me cry
The beauty behind it is that it defines not love but friendship .... true friendship which i believe to have a status much higher and a feeling much deeper then love ever can. That is what I think and believe and only experience shall change that.
Friday, January 10, 2003
Sometimes you just feel like the world is falling in on you....theres no room for you to escape too...but a worse feeling is when ur insides are collapsing and you seem to loose all strength ...you can't even reach up and hold on to that last arm reaching out to help you.
I need to concentrate more on my studies now...have to totally fix up my priorities. First I will try to be a better muslim...be more regular with my prayers..recite at least one ruqo of the Quran each day and before going to bed each day think of what I have accomplished. Secondly my studies have to improve...I cannot be a disappointment to my abbu je...he has high hopes for me and i will live up to them inshAllah.
The only way to get rid of these feeling of internal melting is by taking control...hardening my exterior to rebuild myself...may Allah give me support in my journey. ameen.
I need to concentrate more on my studies now...have to totally fix up my priorities. First I will try to be a better muslim...be more regular with my prayers..recite at least one ruqo of the Quran each day and before going to bed each day think of what I have accomplished. Secondly my studies have to improve...I cannot be a disappointment to my abbu je...he has high hopes for me and i will live up to them inshAllah.
The only way to get rid of these feeling of internal melting is by taking control...hardening my exterior to rebuild myself...may Allah give me support in my journey. ameen.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
Anger.
It has to be one of the worst emotions ever. It puts you on fire and this fire engulfs others too.Others may get hurt in the worst ways ever when one is angry. phir kyoun hota hai aisay? why do we let it get to us..why not just calm down and talk peacefully? Anger is my worst trait. I thank GOD that till yet i have not lost any friends due to this...but it hurts...it hurts real bad :(
After one burst of anger and hatred and unmercifullness i am calm again and then i think...what did i just do!! How can i be soo cruel...someday its going to get to someone and theyre gonna turn away and just never turn back...I pray to Allah that that day never comes...plz lemme control my anger...plz let them know that i don't mean it.
I wish to be able to just keep it inside and then when it becomes too much to go and just cry it all out :)
To all those who i care for and love...please forgive me.
It has to be one of the worst emotions ever. It puts you on fire and this fire engulfs others too.Others may get hurt in the worst ways ever when one is angry. phir kyoun hota hai aisay? why do we let it get to us..why not just calm down and talk peacefully? Anger is my worst trait. I thank GOD that till yet i have not lost any friends due to this...but it hurts...it hurts real bad :(
After one burst of anger and hatred and unmercifullness i am calm again and then i think...what did i just do!! How can i be soo cruel...someday its going to get to someone and theyre gonna turn away and just never turn back...I pray to Allah that that day never comes...plz lemme control my anger...plz let them know that i don't mean it.
I wish to be able to just keep it inside and then when it becomes too much to go and just cry it all out :)
To all those who i care for and love...please forgive me.
Saturday, January 04, 2003
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
din wich teri yaad saathawee
raataun noun neend na awaye
your memories torture me in the day
sleep evades me in the nights
Sometimes you just have to scream to get all the stuff out of ur system...a kinda posion you could say :)
I'm not going to bother with any introductions ...don't ask why...i'm just not going to bother.
Today i'm real depressed...why is it that people come into our lives sometimes for the littlest of moments...and then just walk away ..you turn ur back one second and then next ur all alone. Why do we end up attaching the most importance the most emotional energy on people that are just never going to be there with you...why can't we tell who is going to be there always and who is not..and sometimes why even knowing the difference do we still choose the wrong person..make the wrong decision. If anyone actually found a perfect answer for this it would totally ruin life...because though its one we wish sooo hard to answer it is also the one which we wish to hold back on... if i knew i would be in pain i wouldn't venture down that dangerous but extremely beautiful path..I wouldn't feel that slight bittersweet pain..i wouldn't grow up...and i wouldn't make the same mistake over and over and over again.
din wich teri yaad saathawee
raataun noun neend na awaye
your memories torture me in the day
sleep evades me in the nights
Sometimes you just have to scream to get all the stuff out of ur system...a kinda posion you could say :)
I'm not going to bother with any introductions ...don't ask why...i'm just not going to bother.
Today i'm real depressed...why is it that people come into our lives sometimes for the littlest of moments...and then just walk away ..you turn ur back one second and then next ur all alone. Why do we end up attaching the most importance the most emotional energy on people that are just never going to be there with you...why can't we tell who is going to be there always and who is not..and sometimes why even knowing the difference do we still choose the wrong person..make the wrong decision. If anyone actually found a perfect answer for this it would totally ruin life...because though its one we wish sooo hard to answer it is also the one which we wish to hold back on... if i knew i would be in pain i wouldn't venture down that dangerous but extremely beautiful path..I wouldn't feel that slight bittersweet pain..i wouldn't grow up...and i wouldn't make the same mistake over and over and over again.
