A mothers heart :). How cruelly it kills her ...har din har shaam. She sees something her child wants. Something her child keeps hidden. She can read it all no matter how hard her child tries to evade discovery of it. When she realizes she cannot get it for her child she makes up excuses as to how unworthy it is. Speaking at random to maybe try and develop a dislike in her mind. She creates enemity with it herself. And she dies...everytime she sees it and her child. Her heart breaks more with every sigh her child hides with every smile the child fakes. Bhala yeh bhi kaisi saza.

It pains me again. I call out for my mothers lap. If only I could cry my fill without causing her pain.

Junoon...chaRh raha hai

Today I bumped into a man and his seeing dog. When I think back to it I truly had no sense no perception that there was someone there. When I do finally see the dog I'm frightened and I look up higher to see the blind man. He says excuse me, pardon me. And thats when I almost broke down into tears. How ironic it is...someone without sight still sensing anothers' presence and being aware of them; and one with sight being lost. Why do I do this? The crowd phenomenon? Mind your own business go your own way? But thats not me. I relish in seeing people observing them and finding life in them. Am I afraid to show myself then? Afraid of what someone might read in me? But in the end do not my guarded eyes my fast pace and silent expression tell much more. What have I become...what am I falling into.

On a lighter side I've got a new song on repeat now :)

'yeh meray dil main kaisa junoon
mun ko kyoun na milay ab sakoon

zindagi imtehan hai tou kya
manzilon ka mujhe hai junoon

sooni rahoun main bhi humsafar ka junoon'


hehe..and an edit in the morning :) I don't crave manzilain...yeh rastoun ka hi junoon hai. Manziloun say tou dur lagta hai...unke agaye tou kuch bhi nahi hota.

found this cartoon highly amusing :p..could have been nicer with the absence of numerical reference. How many words do we send out and never know if they reached the other. An ultimate disgrace to communication it can be!

but oh so quaint...master jee...mera koi khat nahi aya?





Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

'kuch log angaRoun ki tarha hote hain :)

they can never light up your path...only burn..within themselves...and others.'

Bohut dinoun baad ek piece of writing ne mujhe par buri tarha ka asar chora hai. Amoman dil alfaazoun keh jor say khush hota hai..heran aur awe main hota hai dukhi bhi ho mager bittersweet aspect zaroor shamil hota hai. Recently however something actually hurt me and made me question my life itself. It speaks of intezaar. It's a wild novel with its "selling" bits but deep down all I can see in it is loneliness. A girl awaiting the person in her life since the age of 8. What a life that must be. I feel the same. It is as if everything around is temporary but am only in wait for something and when that arrives it shall truly proceed. Its a horrifying thought. This string attached to another it does not let you live on your own. The way we were born to live to be judged in the end. Alone..Free. Her destiny is written for it is not a year since her first thought of her future with him that the very same is also ended. When she does meet him when she does get married when her life begins and he dies...her life becomes another wait. A wait of 40 years..all on her own..for his past memory to come back for that one day. How ridiculous..arghhh!! This might make no sense because it comes from a book...but this wait..it's not right. How can one put their life on hold? How can one miss all those days? It feels that way at the moment...and it feels terrible. To live within a community and yet not Live with it at all. How can one walk and yet wish to leave no footprints behind? And why must one be in search of prints to walk beside. The proof of the absence of a presence. Zindagi humain yeh nahi sikhati. We must live...we must endure..we must struggle for another day..but we must not waste moments in awaiting. Ager kissi cheez ki umeed na ho...tou uska intezaar bhi nahi hota. Ummed main intezaar main insaan kitna kuch din ba din khooTha hai. Gur har din ko akhri samaj kar jiyo tou you see soo much more...you take action more often...and you create a more solid presence.

Aap ko bhool jayain hum... Aap ko bhool jayain hum
Itnay tou baywafa nahi..... Aap ko bhool jayain hum

Aapsay kya gila karain
Aapsay kya gila karain
App say kuch gila nahi

Aap ko bhool jayain hum

hum tou samaj rahay thay yeh
tum milay pyar mil gaya

ek teray dard kay siva
humko tou kuch mila nahi

Aapsay kya gila karain

sheeshaye dil ko toorna
unka tou aik khail hai

humsay hi bhool hogayi
unki koi khata nahi

Aap ko bhool jayain hum
Itnay tou baywafa nahi
Aap ko bhool jayain hum

kash woh apne ghum mujhe
deh day tou kuch sakoon milay

woh kitna badnaseeb hai
ghum bhi jissay mila nahi

Aap ko bhool jayain hum
Itnay tou baywafa nahi
Aap ko bhool jayain hum

Aapsay kya gila karain... Aapsay kya gila karain
App say kuch gila nahi.... Aapsay kya gila karain

(mehdi hassan, noor jahan)

What a pretty song :).

He starts off with proclaiming his everlasting love and she says she's sorry...she tries to say that she loved him and he says no you only gave me pain and she says sorry again...he says how she tore his heart as if a game...and she says yes it was her fault and not his at all..and he says how can i forget you...then she begs him for all his sorrows..and he says ...sigh what shall I have if not your rememberance and sorrow...

It's just sad that it seems that nothing was resolved in the end.

ansoun ki leh nahi thumthi aur maloom nahi ho pata keh yeh apne liye hain keh dosroun kay liye. Choti choti cheezoun main masroofiyat bun jati hai...baat baat par narazgi ya ghussa aur woh hansi jo rukti hi nahi. Par dil nahi hansta. Shayad madhoshi main doobay rehte mar gaya ho. Kal maloom nahi kya ho ga par aik bachaye ki tarha tayari...kitabain simtany ki kapre teh karnay ki jaisay keh koi picinc par jana ho. Kash aisa hi hota...itna khayal ata woh baray say darakht par aik jhula ho aur saath aik choti si nadhi behti ho...nangay paoun bus jhulte rahaain. par woh nadhi woh jhula...hamesha khayal hi raha.

I don't feel afraid and sometimes thats what makes me think I have nothing left inside. Is it the arrogance in me yet again. I had wanted time...time to learn to grow closer...qadr hi nahi ki. Itna waqt mila par...hmmm...abb kya..wapis aingaye tou tootay hoye...nahi aye tou apnoun ko hi tor daingaye..kya karain..

yeh shamma....bhuj na jaye..

'kuch log rait per likhay naamon ki tarah hotay hain...hawa ka jinhain aik hi jhonkha mita deta hai'

Kehna hi kitna asaan hota hai. Tum aik khayal ho. Qalm uthaya likha, suljhaya aur phir mita diya. Hona na hona barabar bun jata hai. Aik din ayega zaroor, jub rait ka zara zara jis par us naam ki lakeer thi uth kar gavayi deh ga un lamhoun ki. Waqt guzar gaya aur bhola bhi diya par aik din woh wapis dikhayi dehga. Agli bar soch samaj kar qadam uthanay chahiye...aisay koi pul na bitaya jaye jo kal roz roz yaad dilayae...aur roz roz bhulaya jaye.

..raha unka khayal.